Breaking free from a narcissist’s pull can be incredibly hard. Narcissists often use tactics like love-bombing, guilt-tripping, and manipulation to keep their partners trapped in the relationship. Over time, this behavior can create a trauma bond, making it even harder to leave. However, recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse is the first step toward regaining control. With awareness and support, it is possible to break free and begin your healing journey. 

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How To Recognize The Narcissist’s Tactics

Narcissists use many tactics to maintain control over their partner. Some of these strategies include love-bombing, guilt-tripping, and manipulation. For example, a narcissist that love-bombs could look like a narcissist confessing his love to their partner after only dating for a week. It could also look like grand gestures or big talks about the future. 

Narcissists tend to prey on their partners’ kindness, especially when it comes to guilt-tripping. Guilt-tripping usually involves one person making another person feel guilty in order to influence their behavior or decision. For instance, a narcissistic partner might say, “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?” This question might act as a response to your attempt to leave your narcissistic partner. 

Additionally, narcissists may also gaslight you in order to control the relationship. Gaslighting can look like many things. For example, narcissists will gaslight you by feeding you misinformation and then accuse you of lying if you question them. Being a victim of gaslighting can also cause you to begin to question your own memory.

Understanding The Trauma Bond With A Narcissist

Understanding the trauma bond you can form with a narcissist is important. The trauma bond created between you and the narcissist is one of the main reasons as to why it is so hard to break free from their pull. 

Trauma bonds are commonly formed in abusive relationships. Dating a narcissist can be abusive and traumatic. Furthermore, unhealthy attachments are more likely to occur when we date a narcissist. These unhealthy attachments can consist of making your narcissistic partner your only support system.

Setting Boundaries With A Narcissist

Setting boundaries with a narcissist can help you break free from their pull. Sometimes you have to go no contact with a narcissistic partner in order to distance yourself from their toxic behavior. Narcissists can be very abusive and influential which is why going no contact can help create a boundary with them.

Sometimes you also have to insist that they listen to you when you say “no.” Narcissists do not like the word “no” and will persistently ignore you when you say it. Another way to set a boundary with a narcissist is through demanding respect. Demanding respect from a narcissist can be asking them for space or asking them to respect your decision to move on. When setting boundaries with a narcissist, expect them to react poorly. However, remind yourself that you are doing this for your own well-being.

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

It is possible to heal from narcissistic abuse. There are steps you can take in order to rebuild your self-worth and to regain emotional independence. You can start by letting go of any illusions you had about your partner and your relationship. Sometimes we idealize relationships with narcissists which makes it hard to break free from their pull. It is important to grieve the love that you lost. It is okay to feel all of your emotions.

Healing from narcissistic abuse can also look like putting more energy into yourself. Start looking for the good again in your life. Do things that make you happy. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, rather than break you down. Remind yourself of all the reasons as to why you deserve to be treated right.